The Not Sofitel

(Tim) So, the Journey has reached Athens, Greece. We arrived the night before our host-to-be, one Alex Giannoukolis. He recommended we stay at the airport hotel Sofitel and pick him up at the gate to begin our Greek adventures. The distance between the gate and the baggage claim was aso absurdly far that I can only assume that we landed in Italy and took moving walkways under the water into Greece. So we walked across the street, past the roaming wild dog over to the Sofitel. Sorry, all we have left are business suites. But fear not, they're on sale! Sweet! For $400 US. Uh, no danke. A bit rich for our bodacious blood. So we headed back across the street, past the dog, and into the arrival center to talk to a travel agency. She said there is a hotel about ten minutes away and would cost about $100, and they offer a free shuttle to and from the airport. Sounded too good to be true, but it was 3am and our options were limited. And by "limited" I mean this was the only one. So we accepted and waited for our chariot to take us away. Some guy comes in and we walk outside, past the dog, and load up his unmarked minivan. We then proceed to blow down totally deserted roads with nothing but wilderness around us. If we hadn"t booked it with a travel agency in a real airport, I would have been rifling through my bag for something to defend myself with. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how far I'd get, seeing as I have no sharp objects, and the only thing with a trigger is my bottle of Febreeze (for those of you wondering, so far I've been able to resist the urge to walk up to a complete stranger, smell him, crinkle my nose, and blast him with Febreeze. The same cannot, however, be said about me spraying my own clothes while yelling "Out, damned spot! Out I say!"). We then reached some sort of civilization, which appeared to be destroyed by war. Out chauffer informs us that it is a new hotel. Yeah, as in "the bodies in the basement haven't decomposed." We then pulled up to the hotel, and it was by far the nicest place we"ve stayed. It was only in the morning that I discovered that new construction debris and bomb debris look the same in pitch black night. So we checked in, crashed for a few hours while being awoken every ten minutes by herds of barking dogs, and headed via free (and this time stress-free) shuttle back to the airport to greet our Athenian tour guide. Details to follow.