The Hostess With the Mostest

(Tim) First off, let me thank everyone for all the coments on the recent posts. Thanks, Pete. I know they weren't award-winning, but c'mon. At least leave a commment telling me just how dogshit it was and let me know how you'll never get that five minutes of your life back. Speaking of dogshit, the wild dog at the airport was only the beginning of the barrage of wild dogs we'd run into. Go up to the Acropolis, enjoy the view and the dogs laying about. Go throught the streets and check out the shops, food, and dogs at your feet. I got a few pictures with them, and I even posed next to one, but I knocked that off when I started thinking that these are homeless dogs, and they're alive. That must mean that they eat, and I didn't see anyone feed them. Therefore, I reasoned that they must kill their prey for survival. Their calm, deadlike demeanor was nothing but a ruse. But I was on to them. What's up now, dog.

We are now in Rome, thanks for asking. Greece was just what we expected and needed: awesome. I'd like to give a sincere thank you to Alex Giannikoulis for putting us up at the Chateau Alex and showing us an incredible Greek time. Host of the year much? We found Alex at the gate and headed back to the Palace. We got acclimated with our surroundings, mostly by telling Alex how swwet his place is, and headed out to eat, where Alex put in his best effort to be an integral part of the Quest for 250. He ordered for us and they brought out some bread, cheese, salad, fried zuccinni, and fries. Tonight we eat like kings! Then they brought out two plates of gyros. On snap, it's on. Apparently tonight we eat like kings named Henry VIII. Needless to say, upon completion of the meal, I thought I had finally pushed the boundaries of safe consumption and would die of over-eating. I couldn't wait to do it again. After that it was time to go home, rest up and head out for the evening. Alex took us to a bar on a hill with an outdoor area. With the Acropolis in the background. The term "impressive" comes to mind. I tried to buy the first round of drinks and the total was 14 euro. Being the perennial "big baller" I paid with a 100-euro bill. He said he didn't have change. After our bewilderment subsided, Tom paid with a 20. Ten minutes later, I ordered another round and handed him the same hundred. I felt like the monkey in the joke "got any bananas?....."

The following day Alex took us to his relatives' vineyard out away from the city. There we pulled mandarin oranges, some little pearish things, and lemons off the tree. The mandarin were so good that I may have single-handedly ruined their crop year. We could not, unfortunately, eat any grapes, but we did try some artichokes and checked out an olive tree. I plucked a branch and extended it to Tom, but he rejected it with suspicion in his eyes. We were then treated to an incredible home-cooked meal courtesy of Alex's family. Do I even need to say that it was delicious? One word: feta.

On Sunday we participated in what I deemed the highlight of the Greece trip. I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with bokker and I kicked ass at it. Tom will no doubt mesmorize you with fantastical tales of his five goals and natural ability. Sure, I only scored three, but not without explanantion. First, Tom played more offense than I did. Second, I'm a team player and the thought of passing the ball enters my head from time to time. And last and most important, Tom's a lucky bastard. But Tim and Tom did account for 50% of the team's offense, in a winning effort, and that's what counts. We all know it sure as HELL isn't how you "play the game."

After the game, we went home, met Alex's cousin Alex, his other cousin Alex, showered, and went out for some seafood. On the beach, of course. Duh, we're being hosted by Alex. We were lucky to have our first (and likely my last) taste of genuine ouzo. Evidently "ouzo" is Greek for "licorice-flavored petrol." Alex was a bit disappointed in our efforts in that area, and for that we sincerely apologize. But we did put in a strong (to quite strong) showing the previous two nights out on the town. So we went home to relax and do what all Greeks do on Sunday nights: watch American movies. Tom popped on Gladiator and mentioned how "fitting" it was that we were watching it in Greece. Based on several of his other comments thus far, I'd say it's absolutely fitting that Tom said that watching a movie in Athens about Romans was fitting. For Greek history and torn rotator cuffs, Tom's your man.

On Monday, it was time for Tim and Tom to do some sightseeing before the afternoon flight to Rome. We went to the Parthenon, but I can't remember the names of all the other clubs we went to. I'll say this: The Greeks knew a thing or two about buildings. They apparently, however, like every major city in Europe, knew exactly squat about planning navigable streets. But hey, you can't win 'em all. After that, it was time for the flight to Rome, where they subsist largely on sandwiches and pizza. Hello, heaven.